collection of favorite quotes

  • "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." - Michael Pollan
  • "What could you do if you had no fear?"
  • "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss
  • "With no power comes no responsibility." - Kick Ass
  • "Anyone may arrange his affairs so that his taxes shall be as low as possible; he is not bound to choose that pattern which best pays the treasury. There is not even a patriotic duty to increase one's taxes. ... Everyone does it, rich and poor alike and all do right, for nobody owes any public duty to pay more than the law demands." - Judge Learned Hand, Gregory v. Helvering (1934).
  • "Tell me something complicated that I don't already know." - Sergey
  • "If you don't have any shadows you're not in the light." - Lady Gaga
  • "If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid." - Albert Einstein
  • "I would like to lock the fundamentalists of all the world's religions in a stadium together with some baseball bats." - Eric Crandall
  • “Act like a new employee every day.”
  • The teacher asked the class to write a concise essay containing the following elements: 1) Religion 2) Royalty 3) Sex 4) Mystery. The winning essay was: "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is."
  • "And if you didn't do your homework, the teachers would beat us." - Jung, about growing up in Korea
  • The three Wise Men are on their way to visit Mary, Joseph, and their new baby. The three Wise Men enter the stable, and the first wise man steps right into a pile of warm donkey dung. "Jesus Christ!," he exclaims. Mary said, "Oh Joseph, that is a perfect name for our baby!"
  • John: "Travis, do you check facebook daily?"
    Dale: "Daily?! He's responsible for half the content on Facebook!"
  • "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." - Leonardo da Vinci
  • "I just had an interesting conversation with a smart person, in my line of work - it's very hard to come by." - A waiter
  • "About to speak at conf. Spilled Coke on left leg of jeans, so poured some water on right leg so looks like the denim fade." - Tony Hsieh, Zappos.com
  • "Contemplating new email strategies. Current practice (responding to most of them) not scaling. Interested in doing other stuff." - Evan Williams
  • "Hunter-gatherers in the Australian outback today live on 800 varieties of plant foods. Modern Americans live principally on three: corn, soy and wheat."
  • "I swear to God you work in an amusement park."
  • "Dance like the photo's not tagged... Love like you've never been unfriended... Tweet like nobody's following..."
  • "Fraud. That's when you've got problems."
  • "Please do not stand on the toilet seats. Use the paper protectors instead."
  • "I don't know anybody under 30 who has ever looked at a classified advertisement in a newspaper."
  • "Is this Chinese food? It tastes like Szeshuan beef, but there's a salad and dinner rolls."
  • "The statement that the plaintiff is a 'Dumb Ass,' even first among 'Dumb Asses,' communicates no factual proposition susceptible of proof or refutation." -- Sixth District Court of Appeal, State of California, 3/24/05, H024448. - Thursday, March 31, 2005
  • "When the spaceship lands in your backyard and the door opens, you just get in."
  • "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, amazing things will happen." -- Conan O'Brien ("Work hard. Be kind. Amazing things will happen.")
  • "I'm burning out like a Supernova here." - Coworker
  • "I try to be aggressively ignorant about accounting issues."
  • "If you'd like to take a break from the copying..."
  • "I don't think it's not unreasonable."
  • "No, oatmeal isn't made out of rice, it's made out of oats. And don't keep putting meat in your oatmeal. That's wrong."
  • "Let's rejigger the books." -- Manager at work
  • "Ok everyone, tell us your name, where you're from, and your favorite tax code section."
  • "It took you three months to screw this up. Don't expect me to fix it in one week." -- Me
  • "The conference call was going very well, until the Howdy Doody music started playing in the background and we had to switch to a different dial-in." - Travis 
  • "Remember the difference between a boss and a leader; a boss says 'Go!' - a leader says 'Let's go!'" - E.M. Kelley 
  • “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." - Steve Jobs, 2005 
  • “They just need to die. Off. They need to die off." - E.S. 

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