overly religious email

Years ago I received this email from a former coworker. I can't read it without laughing. I've redacted it for privacy.

Sent: Tuesday, March 30, 2004 7:14 AM
Subject: Important Announcement

Hello Loved Ones and Friends; Greetings to you in the precious name of my King:  The Lord Jesus Christ!
I return today from Israel where I have been the last 11 days; however, before I left there was a Major Event that occurred in my life and I want to formally announce it:
I have asked xxxxx to marry me and she has graciously said “Yes”!!!! 
I will attempt to provide some information about xxxxx and how we met and all that the Lord has done so that when you meet her, you will feel familiar with her:
Also please review the pictures attached; Also, please feel free to forward this e-mail to those whom would want to know and are not on the e-mail list:
xxxx:  Please make sure all of your family receives this e-mail
xxxx:  Please make sure Aunt xx and Uncle xx receive this…
Who is She?  A diamond in the rough that the Lord lead me all the way out to New Mexico to find.  She is the most beautiful, perfect, pure, and lovely woman of God that I have ever met!!  xxxx was born in Honduras to xx and xx xxx.  Her family has been missionaries to Central America and South Mexico (the state of Tabasco) for the last 26 years.  She was born on the mission field and grew up in South Mexico during early childhood and then finished growing up in East Texas.  She now lives about 10 miles outside of La Grange, TX (in between Austin and Houston).  The Lord used xx family to plant 100 churches in South Mexico.  This region of Mexico was the most un-reached region in all of Mexico with regards to evangelical Christians in the late 70’s.  It now has more Jesus loving believers than anywhere else in the country and this is in large part due to God’s hand moving through this family. 
xx grew up under the watchful eye of an awesome man of God and has followed Jesus faithfully since she was a baby!  xx raised his family to follow Jesus no matter the cost (which often times appeared to be his life) and taught them to live by the Word of God!  xx has two brothers: xx (31) and xx (20) and a sister (xx: 27).  xx is 25. 
xx went to be with the Lord in April of 2003 and the family continues the ministry on that was left to them.  They have shown incredible faithfulness during some very hard times.  They currently have a church in La Grange that they planted; they also oversee the ministry in South Mexico called “The xx”.  xx continues to make around four trips a year to South Mexico to hold crusades and plant new churches.  I was most fortunate to accompany him last September on a week long trip and plan to accompany him many more times in the future.
How did we Meet?  In the summer of 1999, I was a camp counselor at a Golf Camp for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and xx was as well.  I first noticed what a sweet and peaceful spirit she had about her and it was pretty much left at that.  We maintained contact via e-mail about once every two or so months and remained prayer partners for one another over the next 3 ½ years.  I then decided to call her while I was living in California.  Upon returning to Texas I paid a visit to her in November of 2002.  I remember being particularly impressed about the unity in the family.  All six members of the family lived in unity and had a love for Jesus.  This was my first time to meet xx mom and dad and sister and brother.  I left that weekend encouraged about seeing an entire family living for Jesus in unity (the first time that I had ever seen this in my life).  I wanted this in my family one day, however, I still had no idea that it would be with xx.  I did not see xx again until her daddy’s funeral in April of 2003.  Their family has been through a whole lot of changes over the last year in losing this great leader.  He, however, left them prepared to continue on the things the Lord has for their ministry and they have been faithful to pick up the slack. 
The Lord moved in my heart regarding xx in June of 2003 and I decided to pay her a visit during the 4th of July weekend.  It was awesome!  I remember that we went down to a river to talk for the first time alone:  I was very upfront about my history and where I came from (I went ahead and let out all the skeletons to see what she would think); she did not bat an eye (perhaps she was in shock in retrospect).  I played the guitar and we worshipped the Lord together, prayed together, and talked.  One thing that was very significant was that a couple came up to introduce themselves to us; it turned out that they were having a lot of physical problems and xx and I were able to minister to them:  I prayed for the man and xx prayed for the lady.  It was so sweet to see her just jump right in and put her hand on these people and ask for the Lord’s healing on them.
I visited xx once a month in the following months and in September I asked her brother (xx) for permission to court her:  This is permission to formally come and visit with xx at her family’s house.  xx was gracious and said that they had already prayed about it and felt it was right (xx did not know about it).  I continued to pay visits on a monthly basis and I began to see that she was the most perfect fit for my bride that God had every created.  When I returned from Guatemala, I began to seriously pray about asking her to marry me.  You see, I have asked God for many things in my wife; not only did he answer every one of them in xx, He went ahead and added a hundred more things.
You see, xx is a far better person than I am, more mature in the faith, and is much more spiritually gifted than I am.  You might wonder:  Why is she marrying you then?:  God Is Good!!!!  God is Grace!!!  For surely He blesses us far more than we deserve!!  Oh Praise Him; Oh Praise Him!!!
The Proposal:  As soon as I had a peace from the Lord, I began to nervously prepare to ask her hand in marriage.  Everything was kept in strict secret!  In early March, I called xx and asked her if I could take her on our first date (to dinner); she became very nervous and said “ok”.  You see, this was not just our first date; it was her first date ever!!  This is why I say with absolute humility:  She is far better than I deserve!!  I found out through my “connections” that her favorite flower was the pink tulip and had a vase full delivered to the restaurant.  I asked her mother and brother for permission to ask xx hand marriage.  Little did xx know that her first date would also be the night of her engagement. 
We had a wonderful dinner and she loved the flowers!  After dinner, the sun was beginning to set.  I drove her to a cliff above the Colorado river that faced the setting sun.  I began to discuss all the time that we had spent together (during this time I had rarely expressed any emotion as I did not want to “awaken love” before it was time; I merely asked her many questions and then prayed for mercy to not show my bursting excitement) and how much the Lord was showing me about her.  I told her that all of her qualities are things that I have asked the Lord for in my wife.  I then got down on my knee and told her “I love you” (for the first time), and I followed it with “Will you marry me?”.  She looked into my eyes for a while and then professed her love for me and said “Yes”.  It was like a dream and it was perfect in every way.
I look forward to you meeting my beautiful bride to be!!  Please enjoy the pictures,
God Bless You,


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